AI Assistants Promised as Relationship Fix, but Experts Warn of Potential Harm

A new AI assistant called Orchid has been touted as a solution to relationship problems by automating tasks and managing schedules. However, experts warn that this approach may do more harm than good.

The concept of ‘weaponized incompetence’ has gained traction online in recent years, referring to individuals who feign helplessness or lack of effort in relationships, often expecting their partner to take care of everything. This behavior can be particularly damaging when it comes to tasks like cooking, cleaning, and scheduling.

Orchid’s promotional material showcases a scenario where the AI assistant takes over these responsibilities for an inconsiderate boyfriend named Sam. The ad depicts Sam as busy gaming and neglecting his anniversary, while Orchid steps in to make reservations and buy flowers without him even remembering the occasion.

The girlfriend in this scenario is aware that Orchid is doing all the work but allows her partner to take credit for it. This dynamic has raised concerns among users on X, who see it as a perpetuation of ‘dead-end relationships’ where both parties secretly hate each other.

Lauren Maher, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, emphasizes that Orchid will not address the underlying issues in these relationships. She notes that trying to outsource difficult communication through AI will only prevent couples from facing their problems head-on.

‘An AI app will never be able to compensate for a lack of attention or genuine caring,’ Maher says. ‘No amount of feigned attention will convince the nervous system that someone is there for you when they are not.’

Maher also points out that triangulation, where individuals communicate through a third party rather than directly with each other, is often discouraged in couples therapy. The introduction of AI assistants like Orchid into romantic relationships can be seen as a form of indirect communication, which can strain relationships further.

The actual usefulness of AI assistants remains uncertain when it comes to matters of the heart. A recent survey from astrology app Hint found that 59% of participants felt more confused after receiving advice from an AI assistant, while 47% reported being influenced to postpone decisions about their romantic relationships due to over-reliance on machine-generated guidance.

The company behind Orchid has larger ambitions beyond relationship management, focusing on workflow automation and streamlining tasks across connected apps. However, it’s unclear what makes this AI agent unique from others in the market, aside from its texting feature.

Orchid’s promotional material may be seen as a bait-and-switch, with some users accusing the company of using relationships to generate buzz rather than addressing genuine relationship issues. The ad has certainly sparked conversation about the company and its vision for how people do everything, but fixing a ‘shitty’ relationship is not one of those things.

Maher’s warning that AI assistants will never replace human connection or effort in relationships seems particularly relevant given these findings. As technology continues to advance and AI becomes more integrated into our lives, it’s essential to consider the potential consequences on our personal relationships.